Jun 17, 2009 under Blogging, Personal, Internet. 5 comments. // First time visiting?
I haven't blogged for more than five months, so I wouldn't be surprised if I lost several of my visitors. I honestly don't know where my mind is at the moment...Recently, I've been getting swamped with homework and SAT prep, but I can't truthfully say that this is the only reason I haven't been blogging.
Perhaps my interest in web-related activities has declined...I'm not sure. Obviously, I can't just give up a website that I devoted so many hours to last summer, so I'm going to keep this page going out of respect for all the work I put into it before.
I've been growing a little self-conscious with my blog, I'll admit. "Blogging" has gotten a negative reputation and is often viewed as narcissistic, so perhaps that's why I haven't been as active as I used to be. Whatever the case, I'm trying to abandon this mentality and remember that it's important that I have a creative outlet. Therefore, the website stays.
Anyway, school's out, and I have a lot of time on my hands. I've been buying used Björk and David Bowie albums off Amazon (you must check out this album), but that can't consume all of my time, now can it?
Maybe a layout change is in order. ;)
Jan 12, 2009 under Personal, Internet, Rants. 22 comments. // First time visiting?
The Christmas season / January is perhaps the busiest time of year for me. As I recall, I closed my last website in January (in part) for that exact reason (but don't worry--history will not repeat itself).
Instead of reintroducing myself and offering a comprehensive list of excuses as to why I haven't updated in over a month, I shall get straight to the point of this entry: to express my annoyance towards something that's been on my mind for quite a while.
One reason as to why my last website closed is that people who know me personally came across it and showed it to virtually everyone they knew. I don't know about other webmasters, but I despise the idea that "real life" friends and family should come across my blog, and there are several reasons for this.
Whenever I tell people to stop viewing my blog, they say, "Why? Is there something 'bad' on there?" No, of course not--and I'm insulted that anyone would insinuate that this could be a possibility. I view a blog is a "diary" of sorts--a journal which gives an account of a small snippet of a person's life. For other people (who know me personally) to view it would be a violation of my own privacy. My reason is not that I want to freely talk about these people without their knowing, but rather, it's that I wish to express myself without feeling restricted by the potential criticisms of other people I see daily.
Is it sad? Yes, and sometimes I wish I could be as creative as I want without feeling judged by people I know. However, this is how I feel, so if my friends and family are truly out to preserve my best interest, then they'll respect my plea and avoid visiting my website. Sometimes, they say they're "impressed" by the fact that I own a website and want to share it with the world as a result (as an act of "kindness"), but that's no excuse. My response is firm: I couldn't care less about the hits you could send my way. This is my personal journal, and I don't want everyone I know to be viewing it.
Some people say this is contradictory. They say, "If you really want a 'personal' space, why are you finding it on the internet of all places?" Think of it this way: if you had a diary and posted it on the internet where complete strangers could find it, would you really care (assuming that you didn't include specific details that people could deduce apply to you)? The truth is that on the internet, no one knows who you are. If you make something that your close friends would criticize, it still won't matter. I like to use the internet as a place where I can "test out" how to effectively express myself--where I can make things and show them to other web-surfers. If someone doesn't like something I write, then that's okay: there's no personal involvement.
This isn't to say that I can't have friends on the internet--that couldn't be further from the truth. I like many of you visitors despite the fact that I don't know you personally. However, I think we can all agree that a person can be much more comfortable expressing his ideas on a website where he knows that his visitors won't see him the next day--where he knows that his visitors won't judge something he makes and have altered perceptions of him that would compromise his personal comfort.
Perhaps this isn't a big deal; perhaps I'm being too self-conscious. However, this is still a matter of great importance to me--a matter that I hope any close, "real friend" visitor should take to heart.
What do you think about the notion that close friends or family members could be reading your blog (if you have one)?
